


something i need

by jenhyung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 07:27:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17576510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenhyung/pseuds/jenhyung
Summary: Youngho loves Taeil. – Youngho/Taeil(Or: 11k of sex and feelings)





	something i need

**Author's Note:**

> **warnings** : come eating/sharing, fucking, fingering, blow jobs, saliva
> 
> not beta-ed, not proofread even though i tried to ;;

“You can do the dishes tomorrow.”

Youngho hears this from behind him, defiant and blatantly upset. He laughs and keeps scrubbing anyway, and Taeil makes a disapproving noise, “Are you really going to make me wait?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Youngho hums. He soaps up another dish, grinning when he hears Taeil huff. Placating, he tacks on, “The sauce is going to stick if we don’t at least soak them tonight.”

Taeil sniffs and doesn’t say more, but he doesn’t leave either. Youngho feels Taeil’s small hands curl around his waist, fingers pressing greedily into Youngho’s knitted sweater. His hips press against the back of Youngho’s thigh, and even that’s enough to a rush a shudder through him.

Youngho scrubs slowly.

“You’re doing this on purpose,” Taeil whines, bouncing on his toes cutely. Though Youngho isn’t sure if Taeil’s just using it as a guise to rub against him – it wouldn’t be the first time. “I can’t believe you.”

“I’m just doing our dishes,” he says simply.

Taeil, however, isn’t impressed by this. He unsticks himself from Youngho with a snort, “Fine. Be that way.”

He stalks off towards the bedroom, petulance loud and clear.

Youngho misses the warmth immediately. Of course, he does – he hasn’t seen Taeil in three weeks, hasn’t touched him in three weeks. Picking Taeil up from the airport earlier that evening had been the highlight of Youngho’s entire year.

 

Taeil’d been offered a three-week long learning course at another firm across the country and Youngho was adamant Taeil take it, despite them having never spent a night apart over the four years of their relationship.

Taeil was reluctant to go, afraid of the new environment, afraid of having to share an apartment with people that weren’t Youngho, afraid of being apart from Youngho.

“I don’t want to go,” Taeil said with finality, walking away from Youngho with his arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t want to go, okay, and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Youngho followed, exasperated, “But this is such a good opportunity! You’re going to learn so much there, you could even – ”

“Stop it,” Taeil shook his head, refusing to even look at Youngho. He sat on the edge of their bed, glaring angry holes into the carpet. “I _don’t_ want to go.”

Youngho sighed, but he joined Taeil on the bed, clasping their hands together. “Why not? You know it’ll be good for you, don’t you?”

Taeil closed his eyes and brought Youngho’s hand to his lips. Quietly, he whispered, “I don’t want to go anywhere without you.” He breathed deeply, “I can’t do three weeks without you, I really can’t.”

Youngho was speechless. He loved Taeil, of course he did. He didn’t want to let Taeil go either, even if it were for a mere three weeks, twenty-one days.

“Don’t make me,” Taeil mumbled, curling further into Youngho. “Just drop it.”

Youngho did, for the night. He returned to coaxing Taeil into going the morning after – he reassured Taeil that nothing would change, that they’d call every night, that he’d be waiting for Taeil right here in their apartment, that nothing would happen in those twenty-one days. He wanted the best for Taeil, wanted Taeil to be the first in line for a job promotion, wanted Taeil to learn as much as he can about the career he was so passionate about. Youngho wasn’t about to be the one thing standing in Taeil’s way.

Thankfully, Taeil agreed to go eventually, despite being terribly reluctant. Youngho packed Taeil’s suitcase on his behalf, and had to deal with Taeil ignoring him for a good half hour before the older boy realized he wouldn’t be seeing Youngho for the next three weeks; he wouldn’t let Youngho out of his sight then, accompanying Youngho everywhere ( _everywhere_ ) and clinging to his boyfriend up to the point by the gate at the airport.

“Pick up when I call you,” Taeil nagged, crushing Youngho’s neck in the tightest hug they’d ever been in. “Don’t forget that the washer needs two Tidepods and to add a dryer sheet after you move the clothes over.”

“Yes, I know,” Youngho laughed. He turned to breathe Taeil in, taking in as many lungfuls as he can before he had to let go. He didn’t want Taeil to know how much he regretted convincing Taeil to go – he had to be the strong one. He tried not to sound too sad when he whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you.” Taeil kissed him once, then again, as if he knew Youngho wanted him to stay. “I’ll call you, so – ”

“I’ll pick up,” Youngho promised.

He waved, even after he couldn’t see the back of Taeil’s head anymore, even after Taeil’d gone. Youngho’d stayed, wondering what he’d gotten himself into.

 

Those three weeks had been bearable, if Youngho were being honest. It wasn’t like he wanted to beg for Taeil to come home, wanted to buy the next plane ticket out to visit Taeil and have his boyfriend in his arms again. It wasn’t anything like that – he knew Taeil wanted to come home too and that was enough. It’s just that the wait was simply – horrible.

It was horrible waiting for Taeil to come home, watching the door as if Taeil’d somehow taken an early flight to surprise him, watching his phone for every message that played his heartstrings like a broken harp. He missed Taeil every night and every morning, missed Taeil even when they spoke on the phone until Taeil fell asleep first, missed Taeil at every point of the day, really. He found himself searching for Taeil on instinct – trying to cook for two, trying to wrap his legs around Taeil’s small frame in the middle of the night, trying to show Taeil a video only to realize that he’d been sitting in the living room all alone.

It’d been pathetic – Yuta’s words. But Youngho ignored them. He loved Taeil, and Yuta didn’t understand, didn’t comprehend just how much. Or at least, he didn’t until Youngho asked, _What would you do if Jaehyun left for a week?_

Yuta’d scampered off after that, leaving Youngho to sulk alone with his personal little black cloud while Yuta went to Jaehyun’s apartment in a fit of anxiousness.

In all honestly, Youngho is holding back. He has been holding back ever since Taeil’d grabbed him at the airport, since Taeil’d held his hand the entire car ride home, since Taeil’d slid his foot up Youngho’s calf and thigh under the table during dinner. He knew Taeil missed him and he knew he missed Taeil far more, but – it’s always fun teasing Taeil, even if it meant torturing himself a little longer.

Sadly, Youngho’s been living off that one video they’d made during the early days of their relationship, shamelessly jerking himself off as he watched his college self fuck college Taeil deep.

 

Taeil’d been on his phone when Youngho pounced on him after his shower, licking and sucking on Taeil until the older boy was tearing from frustration, gasping into the sheets. He clambered on his front and lifted his hips for Youngho to take, pleas spilling easily from his lips as he begged for Youngho to fuck him hard. Youngho’d always love to give Taeil all he wanted so it’s only in his nature for him to do just that, pushing in slowly just how Taeil liked, stretching him open the burn so, so, so damn good.

“Wait, wait,” Taeil moaned. He fumbled for his phone and slid for the camera function, hitting record. Youngho didn’t question it, loving how Taeil’d been on his elbows and knees for him, phone clutched tightly in his hand. Taeil held the phone in front of his face, filming the way his brows scrunched up in pleasure, mouth hanging open as he moaned – so brazenly that Youngho was proud their next door would hear.

It’s only when Youngho’s watching the recording (over and over and over and over) with headphones and the comfort of hiding under their comforter that he gets to hear Taeil whisper, lips close to the phone’s receiver,

_I love you, oh-oh, I love you, baby – harder, please, baby, baby, I love you-you're so – I love you._

It’s safe enough to say that Youngho has every second of that entire video engraved in his mind.

 

Taeil’d always been… shy about it. Sex, that is.

They’d spend the first six months of their relationship fucking under just the dim light of Taeil’s dinosaur-shaped night light because he’d been too shy of his body. Youngho’d never appreciated that, not at all, because he thought Taeil to be perfect – absolutely perfect with curves and shapes in all the right places. Though, he never pushed Taeil; he’d love Taeil in the dark, under the blankets even in the summer, just about wherever Taeil would let him love him. He swore to himself that he’d wait until Taeil was comfortable enough to be riding him with all the lights on, just so Youngho can admire his every inch, trusted Youngho enough to lie flat on his back and let Youngho spread his legs apart to take care of him, confident enough to know that he’s the only one Youngho’d ever want – it’s been four years since Youngho’s cashed that reward in, and god be damned it was worth it.

It always liberated Youngho to know that he’d been the first to take Taeil. It’s stupid and childish and kinda gross, I’m not going to lie (Doyoung tells him this, then admits to feeling genuinely sad about not being Taeyong’s first boyfriend (Taeyong partied hard in college)), but Youngho keeps it close to his heart anyway. He lives thankfully for the fact that he’s the one that accompanies all of Taeil’s firsts – everything. Taeil’d been clueless and scared and Youngho spent a lot of time on the Internet when he found out, determined to give Taeil the best he can.

He loved Taeil too much to think about being Taeil’s second or third or fourth or fifth, and it’s something he thanks the superior beings for every day.

So, yes. He’s missed Taeil.

Plus – the new haircut Taeil’s sporting isn’t helping either. Taeil’d always liked having short hair (“It’s just easier to deal with,” he would say), so this is quite possibly the longest Youngho’s ever seen on Taeil, and Youngho isn’t afraid to admit that he’s feeling it.

He wants to tug on it when Taeil’s moaning for more kisses, wants to sink his hands into it when Taeil’s on his knees, mouth on Youngho, wants to caress it soft when Taeil is slow and soft in his post-orgasm haze.

Youngho drops the dish he’s holding and runs his soapy hands quickly under the tap. He dries them off sloppily and nearly trips over his own two feet rushing towards the bedroom,

to bump into Taeil already waiting for him in the hallway, arms folded across his chest.

Taeil purses his lips, “Took you long enough.”

Youngho grins, and Taeil takes no time to literally jump into Youngho’s open arms, near strangling Youngho with his arms. He pulls back to grab Youngho by the cheeks, bringing their lips together for an open-mouthed kiss. Taeil licks urgently into Youngho, tasting every inch, running his tongue against Youngho’s teeth, sucking on Youngho’s tongue, trying to take as much as he can get.

Youngho lets Taeil have his way, concentrated a little more on navigating them towards their bedroom. He’s distracted when he realizes that he’s holding Taeil up with his hands on Taeil’s ass; he stops his mission to squeeze Taeil firmly, forcing a muffled moan into Youngho’s mouth.

“Yes,” Taeil whispers through kisses, hips pushing up against Youngho’s torso, then pushing back into Youngho’s hands. He wiggles, and Youngho kneads his ass graciously. Youngho presses his index finger against the inseam of Taeil’s runner shorts, just over his perineum. He shivers, clutching onto Youngho tightly, “ _Yes_.”

Youngho rushes them to the bedroom then, dumping Taeil onto the bed. He bounces once but doesn’t get to complain when Youngho is crawling after him, caging him in. Taeil yanks him down to resume his work, legs flying up to pull Youngho’s hips towards his.

“How – ” Youngho gasps between kisses. Taeil gives him no time to breathe. “How do you want it?”

Taeil grinds against Youngho’s tenting boxers, lips parting to let a satisfied moan through. Shortly, “All night.”

Youngho’s head spins. It’d been a while since they’d gone more than two rounds a night; the last time they went at it for hours ended up with Taeil passing out the moment he came, going lax in Youngho’s arms, and he’d to call in sick for Taeil the day after.

It was like that sometimes – Taeil wanting more than he usually did. Correction: needed more.

 

“It hurts sometimes,” Taeil had admitted once, after five slow rounds together. The sun was rising by then, and Youngho had huddled both of them out onto the balcony in fleece blankets to watch the sunrise.

Youngho panicked, “What hurts?”

“I don’t know,” Taeil sighed tiredly. His cheek was flat against Youngho’s chest, eyes drooping. “Like I can’t get enough of you, and I – ” a shrug, “I just want you.”

“You’ll always have me,” Youngho answered automatically, pressing a kiss to Taeil’s crown. He kept his lips there, sniffing at Taeil’s freshly shampooed hair. “Always.”

“Yeah.” Taeil yawned, “Yeah, I know.” He went on, “I just feel things somedays, and I – ” he glanced at Youngho bashfully, “I like it when you hold me.”

Not that Youngho ever minded, really. He loves to love and the only thing he really worries about is the toll it takes on Taeil. He knows Taeil’s stamina isn’t quite at peak condition, and he simply worries Taeil might be too tired to function the next day.

 

As if Taeil’s reading his mind, he nods, “It’s Sunday tomorrow.” He pushes against Youngho, “We have time.”

_Plenty of time._

Youngho answers with a kiss, and starts to help Taeil out of his clothes. They undress slowly, urgency before gone. Youngho peels each layer away as if he were unwrapping a gift; the shirt first, up and over Taeil’s head. He lies Taeil on his back, latching his lips onto Taeil’s right nipple, hand fondling with the other. Taeil sighs breathily, carding his small hand into Youngho’s dark hair. He arches when Youngho starts to suck, tongue flicking expertly over the bud, trying to grind against Youngho.

But Youngho keeps a space between them – not yet.

Taeil’s hand closes around Youngho’s wrist, a silent request, and Youngho switches to work on Taeil’s left nipple next. He does the same, licking and sucking and kissing. He presses his tongue flat against the bud, then sucks hard, teeth scraping just lightly. Taeil whines, tugging on Youngho for more, please just more. Youngho allows for it, spending time on Taeil’s chest, knowing just how sensitive he is. Taeil pushes up into Youngho’s mouth, hips rolling, craving for more when Youngho repeats his tricks, moving back and forth between nipples.

“You’re – ” Taeil gasps. His knees knock together, trying to get any sort of friction against his neglected dick, “ – coming – ”

Youngho pulls away, just enough for his breath, hot and wet, to ghost against Taeil’s hardened nipple, “I’m going to come?”

Taeil’s sweating already, just from Youngho toying with his nipples, and it’s so fucking hot. “No,” he tries to get Youngho’s lips back on him. “Me.”

Youngho kisses Taeil’s nipple softly. He grins when Taeil whimpers, “You’re going to come? Just like this?”

“Yes – no.”

Youngho chuckles, and it makes Taeil flush. He swats Youngho lightly on the arm, but his hand stays there, grounding himself to Youngho.

“Together,” Taeil says.

Youngho pauses, “I thought you wanted to go all night?”

Taeil tries to push upwards again, but Youngho moves away, kissing just inches away from Taeil’s nipples. He moves in circles, makes sure every inch of Taeil’s chest is covered in kisses.

“I’m want to make you come first, and we’ll go all night, baby.”

Taeil kicks against the bed, “Youngho.”

“Yeah, baby?”

Taeil seems to forget his initial request, “ _Please_.”

“Baby?” Youngho moans it this time. Taeil blushes to his neck, “Haven’t heard this in a while, have you?”

Taeil shakes his head.

“Baby, baby,” Youngho hides his grin away. Taeil’s eyes are closed, listening to Youngho’s every word. His lips fall apart and a heavenly moan passes through. Youngho feels his dick harden against Taeil, “Did you miss me, baby?”

Taeil grips Youngho’s bicep tight, “I missed you.” He smooths his thumb against Youngho’s skin, “Please.”

“Just from this?” Youngho pinches a nipple. Taeil inhales sharply, nodding fervently. “Can you?”

Taeil lets out a long breath, “Make me.”

Youngho does. He pulls Taeil to sit up on his lap, propping a knee up for Taeil to lean against, a hand on Taeil’s back. Taeil’s thighs wrap around Youngho’s hips, his own pressing against Youngho’s torso. His lips are on Taeil immediately, and though he hadn’t left for long, Taeil moans as if it’s the first time he’s been touched tonight.

Youngho takes the time to admire Taeil, registering every inch of Taeil’s exposed body, committing it to memory. Taeil looks so small like this, cradled against his thigh, or maybe Youngho’s just really big, but whatever it is, it’s good.

Taeil lets his arms fall to the side, offering himself wholly to Youngho to work with. Youngho sucks pleasurably hard, enough to leave a hickey, and Taeil rolls his hips forward, cheating when he rubs against Youngho. Youngho lets it pass, focused instead on Taeil’s chest – he bites and licks and sucks and kisses until Taeil is heaving, hands pulling on Youngho’s hair, nails scraping lightly against his scalp. Youngho pushes against Taeil to make him arch beautifully, head lolling back as he continues to ride against Youngho’s torso, speeding up as he reaches close.

Youngho draws up enough saliva to drop it over Taeil’s nipple, then ducks forward to lick it up, suckling. He moans loudly and bites down.

Taeil cries out, bucking roughly against Youngho.

Youngho moves to the next nipple and does the same, leaving a thread of saliva across Taeil’s chest. He kisses the tip, and Taeil arches for more, hips moving erratically, crying for more. He holds onto Youngho’s shoulders, neck supported by Youngho’s knee as he bounces on Youngho’s lap – by far one of hottest things Youngho’s seen in his entire life.

“Please, _please_ ,” Taeil gurgles, gone. “Just – like this.”

Youngho tongue circles Taeil’s nipple, teasing, still teasing. Taeil doesn’t care, hips working overtime to get himself off as Youngho kisses him only gently. It’s when he knows Taeil’s seconds away that Youngho gives a final suck, biting down hard.

Taeil’s scream is inaudible, and he comes in his shorts. Youngho coaxes him through it gently, massaging Taeil’s taut muscles with his saliva slicked hands. Taeil breathes heavy, head hanging off Youngho’s knee as he returns to reality. Coming from just his nipples was always tiring on Taeil, but he loved it and Youngho loved to watch it, basked in the pride that he could do that to Taeil, that he was the only one who could.

He moves to lie Taeil gently on the bed, kissing Taeil on his lips softly. Taeil returns it, a hidden _thank you_ in there somewhere, and Youngho kisses him again, _I love you_.

Taeil lets Youngho move away, tugging at his come soaked shorts until both it and his briefs are pooled at his ankles. Taeil kicks them off, and Youngho grins at Taeil bare before him.

He’s still hard, cockhead dripping with come, flushed pink from just Youngho’s doings.

Without a pause, Youngho takes Taeil in his mouth, licking him clean. It’s still warm, and Youngho gives Taeil a thorough job, licking away come and tonguing the sides, just to keep Taeil on the edge, pulling away with a kiss to the slit.

 

He remembers the first time he sucked Taeil off.

It’d been three weeks into their first date (two months into their friendship) and Youngho was _suffering_. He hadn’t ever wanted anyone like he wanted Taeil. Everything felt like it was a game; when Taeil would lean across the table to take a look at Youngho’s work, the smell of his skin would drive Youngho crazy. When Taeil would walk a little too close on a narrow sidewalk, side pressing into Youngho’s to let a biker pass, the heat would fly straight to Youngho’s groin. When Taeil would sidle up to watch a movie, Youngho’s cheeks would flush with shame, thinking about improper ways to have Taeil against him.

He wanted Taeil. He wanted Taeil so much that he feared he might go crazy if he never got him. He wanted Taeil to feel good under him, he wanted to hear Taeil moan his name, he wanted to watch Taeil unravel, wanted to be the one to do it, the first one too. Youngho didn’t know how it came to be, didn’t know how it got to the point where he couldn’t last a day without thinking of Taeil, couldn’t stop himself from texting back the minute replies, couldn’t stop behaving like an overly attached puppy, trying to see Taeil as much as he could.

It was just really hard, and Youngho can’t recall the number of times he’d to run home to jerk himself off after spending the evening with Taeil. It was sad and pathetic, really, but Youngho didn’t care. He couldn’t control it, his twenty-one-year-old self had been too shot up with lust.

Youngho knew Taeil hadn’t been the kind of guy that gave it up early, not when he’d been the first serious boyfriend Taeil wanted to have. And he wasn’t about to push Taeil to move faster than he was comfortable with.

It’d been a Sunday after a movie that Taeil’d kissed Youngho. The entire movie was sat through with a weird spark of energy between them – Taeil on his right with his hips pressed over to Youngho’s side. It’d been so obvious when Taeil’d gotten hard suddenly, and Youngho didn’t know if he should say or do anything. Taeil kept his eyes trained to the screen, not at all moving an inch.

He pushed himself to his knees then, during the end credits, kissing Youngho soundly. Youngho accepted it; they hadn’t gotten further than just making out and if the tent in Taeil’s shorts were a hint, Youngho wasn’t going to let it pass.

“Wait,” he said, holding on to Taeil just as he’d turned to leave.

Taeil’s cheeks were red, a darker shade than Youngho’d ever seen and oh god, oh god, oh _god_ – it’s happening.

“I – ” Youngho started. His throat was dry, he hadn’t a clue what to say. “I could – help you – with that.”

Taeil choked, recoiling from Youngho for a second, wary. He eyed Youngho carefully, like he doubted Youngho wanted to, like he couldn’t understand why Youngho would want to do something so… dirty.

But _thank you gods, thank you heavens and all that you are_ – Taeil nodded

– _yes_.

Youngho tried not to let his excitement show but he was fairly sure his heartbeat could be heard across the world. He kissed Taeil sweet and had Taeil sit back down, trying to have him relax. Ignoring his own needs, Youngho sank to his knees, settling between Taeil’s thighs. He ran his hands under Taeil’s cotton shirt, reveling in the way Taeil shivered.

He palmed Taeil first, feeling his own dick press against his jeans when Taeil hardened under his touch. He moved to hover his mouth over Taeil then, watching Taeil through his lashes, giving him enough time to refuse. Taeil stared back, a hand over his mouth as he watched Youngho press gentle kisses along his clothed dick.

A spot of precome stained Taeil’s shorts when Youngho breathed against where his balls are covered, and Taeil’s ears flared red.

“Is this okay?” Youngho asked, breathless and painfully hard. His vision’s blurred and he just wanted to take Taeil down to the back of this throat, but he doesn’t.

Taeil nodded, words lost on him.

Youngho took that as a green light. He shimmied the band of Taeil’s shorts down, just enough to pull Taeil’s cock out. Taeil hid his face away, gasping when he hears Youngho spit into his palm. Youngho tried to mute the narration of how pretty Taeil’s dick is, tried not to gloat over the fact that he’s number one, tried not to come in his own pants before he gets a taste of Taeil.

He doesn’t know why, but something compelled him to kiss the top of Taeil’s dick – or maybe he just really wanted to – earning himself a sigh of relief from Taeil. His legs quivered as Youngho started to stroke him, tonguing at his head. He draped Taeil in a generous amount of saliva, making sure it wouldn’t hurt, and Youngho moaned to himself when he tasted Taeil come.

Taeil’d started to watch him then. With one hand still over his mouth, his eyes followed the way Youngho hollowed his cheeks and bobbed his head. His eyes darted away when Youngho looked up to meet his, but settled again on Youngho when the younger boy twirls his tongue around the head.

Youngho drew circles on Taeil’s hips as he lapped at Taeil’s dick. He took Taeil down to the hilt and sucked hard, heart bursting from his chest when he hears Taeil moan softly. He does it over and over again, closing his eyes and listening to Taeil whimper, milking him for all he can get. His feet are planted against Youngho’s thighs, toes curling whenever Youngho moans to send vibrations down his length.

“Taeil,” he’d moaned, tilting his hips sneakily so that Taeil’s foot would press snugly against his hard-on to relieve the ache. “ _God_ , Taeil – you’re so _good_.”

Taeil kept quiet but his hand does meet with Youngho’s cheek, and that was enough for him. He moaned even louder when Taeil’s hips jerk upwards into his mouth, hitting the back of his throat. He nodded to let Taeil know _it’s okay_ , and Taeil listened, thrusting shallow into Youngho’s mouth.

It’s not long before Taeil’s hips moved on their own accord, on hand on Youngho’s head and the other still over his mouth. He moaned loudly for Youngho, cried out when he did come, spilling down Youngho’s throat, hot and salty.

He’d let Youngho bring him down from his high, chest heaving even as Youngho licked him clean. He looked down at Youngho with a timid intention of helping Youngho out, but the younger boy had already come in his pants, grinding shamelessly against Taeil’s foot.

“Okay?” Youngho managed, throat dry. He swallowed thickly, then tucked Taeil back into his shorts. He kissed Taeil again, over the thin fabric of his runner shorts.

Taeil’s eyes were soft, body completely limp, “Yeah.” His pressed his foot down and Youngho breathed deeply, oversensitive, “I have never – ” He paused, and the words came out in pieces, “No one ever – wanted me – like that.”

Youngho licked his lips, “I do.” He kissed Taeil’s knee in place of his lips, “I really do.”

That week had been a snowball of blowjobs – Youngho would take Taeil in the morning, have Taeil’s fleshy thighs wrapped around his cheeks, hickeys dotting the inners sides, making Youngho moan just how much he loved to taste Taeil. He’d take Taeil in the shower, sucking on Taeil’s balls and kissing them as Taeil gripped Youngho’s hair for dear life, moans echoing off the tiled walls. He’d take Taeil the moment he walked through the front door, sinking to his knees and eating Taeil out in the foyer, letting Taeil fuck his face in a frenzy with the risk of someone in the hallway hearing them moan. He’d suck Taeil dry, carry Taeil back to the boy’s bed, then do it all over again – make Taeil cry out for him, yank at his hair, come in his mouth, ruin the sheets.

 

“Come here,” Taeil says now, pulling insistently on the hem of Youngho’s shirt. He kisses Youngho with no hesitation, groaning at the taste of his spunk on Youngho’s tongue. “ _Mmh._ ”

“You’re wicked,” Youngho tells him, smiling broadly when Taeil makes a baffled noise.

He retaliates, “So are you.”

Youngho shrugs, “I know you like it when I do dirty things.”

Taeil rolls his eyes and pulls Youngho close, just to shut him up, Youngho guesses. His shirt is tugged up and off his head, and Taeil’s hands are on his chest, fingers light and palms cool against Youngho’s warm body.

Youngho sighs at Taeil’s touch, shivers running up behind his ears. He tries not to sound too unwilling when he asks, “Are you sure you want to go all night? You’ve had a pretty long day.”

Once a upon a time, Taeil would’ve gotten sad at a remark like that. He would say, “You don’t want me?” and Youngho would say, “What? No, of course I want you.” And Taeil wouldn’t believe him; Taeil would run to the bathroom and shed a few tears he’d never let Youngho see, then return to the bedroom and fall asleep unhappy, ignoring Youngho’s pleas. Youngho would have to catch Taeil in the morning and they’d have to fight, and Youngho would willingly say over and over and over again, “I love you, I want you, please don’t be like this.” And Taeil would cry and apologize and say that he didn’t mean to get angry, that he just can’t help these thoughts sometimes.

Though, it’s been four years since they’ve been in such a stage and it’s everything to Youngho that Taeil doesn’t ever feel that way anymore. He doesn’t think less of himself or too highly of Youngho, he doesn’t think he’s unworthy, god forbid. And Youngho is grateful for that, so, so, _so_ grateful that it’d been something the both of them could learn together – self-love for Taeil and for Youngho, to know that it takes time to learn things like these.

“I want to,” Taeil tells him surely. He pulls against the tight band of Youngho’s jeans, “I wanna suck you off.”

And Youngho can’t say no to that – he really can’t.

He’s on his back in no time, taking Taeil’s spot as the older boy hovers over him, pale skin a pleasing contrast to Youngho’s summer tan. He snuggles comfortably between Youngho’s legs, hands trailing feather-light circles over Youngho’s hips, pads of his fingers just gently grazing over the jut of bone.

“Hmm,” he hums, cheek against Youngho’s inner thigh. He breathes hotly, just staring at Youngho’s dick, already half hard from watching the show Taeil’d put on, “Wanna know something?”

Youngho has his hands twisted in the sheets – dirty talk had always been one of his major turn ons, but there was just something about Taeil’s voice that did the job. He didn’t have to say much to get Youngho leaking and wet, he didn’t even have to speak actual _words_. Youngho thinks it’s embarrassing that he could probably get off just by hearing Taeil moan and whine and whimper in his ear.

Taeil, on the other hand, knows this information and is willing to use his power whenever he pleases.

“I missed sucking you off,” Taeil says casually, as if he were talking about the weather. Youngho groans, and Taeil’s fingers move a little closer to the base. “And I thought about it, you know?”

Youngho can’t look away, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Taeil pushes his hips against the bed, rubbing himself against the sheets, just salivating at Youngho. His eyes are hooded, pink tongue peeking out from between his plush lips, and Youngho feels his gut tighten. “It was three weeks,” he reminds Youngho. “It was so hard some nights – I just wanted you to be there.”

A moment of clarity pushes through the haze.

“I missed you,” Taeil sighs. Youngho can’t even formulate a response because Taeil is finally touching him – pressing chaste kisses down the length of Youngho’s hardening dick. He licks his lips to wet them, mouthing hotly against Youngho, kissing him as if he thought he was kissing Youngho on the lips. It’s so sweet and loving that Youngho can’t comprehend how something so inherently filthy can be made so pure.

Taeil breathes in, “I wanna suck you off in the morning too.”

Youngho reaches to touch Taeil’s hair – shuddering when he feels how soft and smooth he thought it to be. He tugs softly, and Taeil moans against him, flattening his tongue and licking Youngho, tasting him fervently.

“I like how you taste right after you wake up.”

Taeil licks over the slit and Youngho tries not to come in that instant.

 

The first time Taeil’d sucked Youngho off was not long after their week-long blowjob fest. Taeil’d been victim to another of Youngho’s works, fucking into Youngho’s mouth as Youngho sat on the couch, holding Taeil to his face and trying not to reach between Taeil’s cheeks.

“I want to,” Taeil said after, lying on the couch with his lower half exposed. He was still half hard, Youngho noted, apparent even under the dim light of the table lamp. Taeil’d still been terribly shy then, but he let Youngho stroke his inner thighs, doodling aimlessly.

“You don’t have to,” Youngho assured. He traces his finger up Taeil’s length. Maybe they could go for a second round.

Taeil squirmed, “But you do it for me.”

“Because I want to.” Youngho kissed the curve of Taeil’s knee as if to prove a point, “I like doing it.”

Taeil moved, on this hands and knees, kissing Youngho’s neck. Softly, he muttered, “You don’t want me to?” He pressed himself against Youngho, hard again. “I want to.”

Youngho pulled away to kiss Taeil on the lips, “I want it too.”

Every ounce of confidence Taeil’d harbored disappeared the moment he tugged Youngho free from his boxers. He stared, almost uncomfortably so, lips parted as he eyed Youngho, erect and honestly daunting.

“I – ” Youngho wanted to run at the sight of Taeil’s worried expression. Taeil seemed to notice, schooling an expression that did nothing to ease Youngho’s shame (or pride – it’s not something he could be worried about having). His eyes lit up then as if he’d thought of something revolutionary, and it took every single fiber in Youngho not to let his hips buck off the couch when Taeil pressed a shy kiss to the head.

“You did that for me,” Taeil said. He continued to kiss just over the slit, appearing unbothered by the taste of Youngho. He licked Youngho with a sense of sheepish sort of enthusiasm, holding onto Youngho and letting his tongue slide against the underside of it. Youngho’s cheeks burn when he moaned, low and needy.

“Tell me what to do,” Taeil asked. He mouthed down the sides of Youngho, dragging his tongue along. He kissed too, lovingly, just as Youngho had. He grew bold as Youngho continued to unravel, body completely a mess from having Taeil take him for the first time, “Youngho.”

“This – ” Youngho gasped, embarrassed at the fact that he seemed to be a minute from coming. Granted, he was hard the entire time Taeil fucked his mouth. “Please – ”

“Like this?” Taeil asked, barely giving Youngho a second to breathe before he’s taking Youngho down halfway, stroking what he can’t yet reach. Youngho’s heartbeat stuttered, legs shaking at Taeil’s moan, akin to the way Youngho does for him – as if he was trying to recreate all the things Youngho’d done to make _him_ feel good.

His left hand slid to massage Youngho’s balls, and Youngho snubbed the urge to jump away, feeling them tighten. He didn’t know what to _do_ , much less guide Taeil through his very first blowjob. His skin was on fire and there were white spots in his vision – Youngho didn’t know if he were ever going to be sane after this.

Though, he should’ve had it more in him to say something when he felt it coming. But he doesn’t, and he comes, unable to stop himself, absolutely tattered by the way Taeil worked him up, and he really just _couldn’t_ help it when he comes – in Taeil’s _mouth._

He groaned, the flush of relief and pleasure and everything coursing to his veins. Behind his eyes are all spots of Taeil – Taeil moaning around him, licking him deeply, Taeil’s lips and tongue and _thighs_ that Youngho always thought about, a little fatty and soft and so kissable and just _perfect_ that Youngho dreamed of a day Taeil would ride his face with those thighs on his cheeks.

Then two words,

Oh _. Fuck._

Youngho opened his eyes – he didn’t even know he had them screwed shut – horrified when Taeil is still kneeling between his legs, lips in a tight line. The only indication that Taeil hadn’t swallowed was the slight puff of his cheeks. Youngho’s stomach dropped – what if Taeil’d been _mad_ he didn’t give any warning? He should’ve been mad, should’ve been appalled at the fact Youngho didn’t brace him for this at all.

“Oh my g – I am _so_ sorry,” Youngho whispered. He scrambled for a Kleenex but it was empty. An idiot, he stuck a hand out to Taeil’s lips, “Spit it out.”

Taeil frowned. He shook his head, cheeks still puffed out and oh _god_ , Youngho was going to kill himself if he got hard again at Taeil’s come-slicked lips.

“No, Taeil,” Youngho tried to say. He got on his knees clumsily, hand still out for Taeil to spit in, “You can just – my hand – ”

Taeil swallowed.

He later explained that he didn’t want to spit into Youngho’s hand. For some reason, that had been the dirtier alternative compared to swallowing a mouthful of Youngho.

But Youngho didn’t care. He kissed Taeil, who made an indignant noise, pushing at Youngho’s shoulder.

Taeil hid his mouth behind a hand, voice raspy, “Dirty.”

Youngho didn’t understand how Taeil’s mind worked sometimes. “I don’t care,” Youngho tugged Taeil’s hand away, and Taeil allowed for it, letting his hand fall to the side. He licked his lips. Youngho’s dick _throbs_. Dumbly (it’s the dick talking), “You’re so _hot_.”

Taeil squawked, but didn’t moved any further when Youngho kissed him deeply, cleaned out Taeil’s mouth with his own tongue, swallowing even the soft sighs Taeil made.

It didn’t take long for them to start trading blowjobs every now and then. Youngho remained cautious about his hips, not wanting to choke Taeil by accident, and Taeil did his best to work his way to taking Youngho further down, blinking widely when Youngho admitted that he felt just has satiated with just however Taeil’s lips were on him. Youngho still took Taeil whenever he could, so hungry for Taeil that he’d once woke Taeil in the middle of the night for it; Taeil was annoyed, being roused from slumber, but he couldn’t help himself from whimpering and begging for more when Youngho kissed and licked so dearly, fingers ghosting around the soft furl they hadn’t yet explored together.

 

“Can you go another round if I get you off?” Taeil moans against Youngho’s dick. He licks lazily, “I want you to fuck me tonight.”

Youngho nods, not entirely aware of what Taeil is saying, truly.

“Can you do that for me?” Taeil mumbles, sultry. “Because I really want to taste you tonight too.”

“I – I can.”

“Promise me?”

“I promise.”

Youngho gets no warning when Taeil sucks him halfway down, covering him in saliva and sucking _hard._ He strokes fast, bobbing his head to the same pace, just urgent to get Youngho off.

“Taeil – ” Youngho warns, already losing all energy trying to keep his hips from bucking up into Taeil’s small mouth. He watches Taeil’s lips close around his dick, pink and soft and Youngho wants to come _now_ just to have Taeil’s lips on his instead. “I’m – ”

Taeil doesn’t pull away, hardly ever does, keeping his mouth on Youngho.

 

“You don’t think it’s dirty anymore?” Youngho had asked once, cleaning Taeil’s thighs with a damp cloth. Taeil looked at him quizzically, still blissed out from sucking Youngho off then letting Youngho tongue at him until he couldn’t see straight. “I mean – it’s your first time…” Youngho kept his eyes on Taeil’s thigh, “Being like this… with someone?”

Taeil thought about it, hands fiddling with the hem of his comforter. Eventually, “I guess so.” Youngho waited for more, “I haven’t really thought about… doing things like this – with anyone else.”

“So then – it’s okay? With me?”

“I think…” Taeil kept his eyes high, avoiding Youngho. “Only you,” his lips twitched. “Just yours.”

Youngho had buried himself in the blankets, body hot at Taeil’s innocence, giggling to himself when Taeil whacked at his back and kicked him to stop.

 

“Taeil – ” Youngho says again now. He writhes under Taeil, gives Taeil the satisfaction of knowing that he can get Youngho twisting with pleasure. “ _Taeil_ ,” he moans, and this time he comes too, seeing white for just a second before everything dulls back down.

Youngho struggles to get air in his lungs, breathing heavily as Taeil takes it all in his mouth, moaning softly. He looks down to see Taeil with his eyes closed, completely erotic as he continues to flatten his tongue against the head, mixing come and saliva.

He pulls off when Youngho’s on the cusp of oversensitivity, moving to sit back on his haunches. He’s hard again, Youngho finds, and he’s staring at Youngho with a kind of desire that he knows the night’s far from over. Taeil spits into his own hand, letting Youngho’s come and drool drop slowly into his palm.

Youngho swallows thickly, watching Taeil touch himself with his spill.

_Oh my god._

“Are you okay?” Youngho asks, tearing away from his thoughts of pinning Taeil down and taking him then. He crawls to the end of their bed to kiss Taeil. Taeil pushes saliva and come into Youngho’s mouth, moaning earnestly and it’s unsanitary and raw and Youngho doesn’t care the slightest. He gives Taeil a soft kiss, “Do you need anything? Water?”

Taeil nods, hand going lax to stave off until Youngho returns.

Youngho hopes all the blinds in the living room are closed when he runs out butt-naked, snatching a mug from the counter and filling it from their filter machine. The soapy plates stare at him from where he’d adamantly pretended to be so terribly invested in cleaning; Youngho wonders how he managed to get so wound tight around Taeil’s littlest finger.

He strides back into the room to find Taeil cleaning himself up with a handful of Kleenex, smiling sheepishly when Youngho nears the bed. Youngho takes the dirtied tissues from Taeil and puts the mug into his hand instead, leaning over to toss the tissues into the waste basket.

“C’mere,” Youngho hums, pulling their comforter free so that Taeil can slide under it. It’s still cold out but comfortable without the heater on. Taeil holds onto the mug carefully as he adjusts himself comfortable. The covers are a little stained but Youngho knows they’ll be changing the sheets when morning comes. He follows Taeil under the covers, “Okay?”

Taeil finishes the water and leaves the mug on their bedside table. He turns back around to dive straight into Youngho’s chest, sighing deeply, “Yeah.”

Youngho plays with Taeil’s hair, “Sleep a little.”

“But you promised – ”

“You’ve been traveling all day, baby.” Youngho moves to kiss Taeil, the older boy pliant in his arms. He lets Youngho open him up, licking Taeil slowly, swallowing all the little noises Taeil makes. Youngho smiles when Taeil chases after his lips, hand coming up to Youngho’s cheek to have him steady, “I missed you.”

Taeil opens his eyes, hooded and slightly glazed over. “I missed you too,” he whispers. He kisses Youngho sweetly, “I missed you everyday.”

Youngho’s heart flares warmth. The past three weeks had been spent missing Taeil and it’d been even worse when he had to go out with all of their couple friends alone. He didn’t know what to do when he saw Taeyong nag Doyoung over leaving home without a scarf, or Jaehyun boast about Yuta’s recent career change to something much more fulfilling.

Youngho was constantly bitter and had to look at his hands to ground himself, wishing quietly that he had Taeil beside him again.

Taeil draws away, “What is it?”

Youngho stares at Taeil. Looks at Taeil’s eyes, the way they shine. At Taeil’s lips, how much he’s missed them. At Taeil, and just wishes he’ll never live a day without Taeil ever again.

“Youngho?”

“Don’t ever leave,” he mumbles. Taeil’s eyes widen, and he inhales sharply when Youngho tackles him, bringing their lips together again. “Not even for a day.”

“I thought – ” Taeil pushes his hips up towards Youngho’s hand, breathing heavily through the onslaught of kisses Youngho’s attacking him with. “You didn’t want – ”

“Love you,” Youngho groans. He touches Taeil gently, drinking in all of Taeil’s exhales. “I love you, baby.”

“I – ” Taeil grapples to hold onto Youngho’s shoulders. His head falls back onto the pillows when Youngho trails sloppy kisses down his neck, lining his clavicle. “I love you – please – ”

“Please?”

“I love you, I love you,” Taeil pants. He thrusts into Youngho’s hand, driving his heels into the bed. Youngho sucks a hickey onto Taeil’s chest, hearing Taeil whine when he pulls away to admire the blushing bruise. He kisses over it softly. “Youngho, I want – can you please – ”

“Slow, baby,” Youngho mumbles. He moves his hand to settle on Taeil’s hip, earning himself a dissatisfied groan. “Let’s do tonight slow, okay?”

Taeil sighs, “But I’m ready.”

Youngho props his elbow against the pillows and watches Taeil. He watches Taeil blink up at him, looking adorably comfortable between the sheets. Youngho leans forward to kiss him softly, just to make up for the nights he couldn’t kiss Taeil to sleep. Taeil wriggles close, not trying to draw any more from Youngho, but just playing along with his game of push and pull.

Youngho trails his fingers featherlight to the curve of Taeil’s ass, finally touching it skin to skin. He drags his nails across them lightly, feeling Taeil shiver against him, whining into his lips.

“Youngho,” he whispers breathily, holding into Youngho by the cheeks. He hitches his left leg over Youngho’s waist, spreading himself apart, a silent request.

“Baby,” Youngho moans, finger ghosting over the soft furl. He feels it tremble in anticipation. “I can’t get enough of you.”

“I’m all yours,” Taeil mumbles. Youngho basks in it, knowing Taeil will never say such sweet things this confidently in the day. He kisses Youngho and pushes back against Youngho’s finger, “Please.”

“You’re mine?”

“Yeah.” Taeil grinds against Youngho’s torso, tongue pushing past Youngho’s lips to deepen their kiss. “All yours.”

He mewls, licking against Youngho’s tongue and swallowing what he can, desperate to taste. With a bit more leverage, he manages to get Youngho on his back, thighs spreading across Youngho’s hips. They kick the comforter to the ground to keep it from dirtying any further. Youngho’s groan makes Taeil rut forward urgently, trying to get things going further than just a finger on his ass.

Taeil plants his hands on either sides of Youngho’s head, his lips never once leaving Youngho’s. He tugs and nibbles, breathes hotly into Youngho’s mouth, shivers when Youngho moans the moment Taeil pushes his saliva to Youngho, then takes it back and swallows when it’s mixed with Youngho’s.

“Stop teasing,” Taeil gasps, back arching when the tip of Youngho’s index finger pushes in dry. He shoves his ass back for more but Youngho pulls out and goes back to circling just around the edges.

“You’re so tight,” Youngho says. Taeil huffs hard at the words. His finger dips in again, just barely halfway to his first knuckle. “Did you touch yourself?”

Taeil shakes his head.

“Why not?”

“Wanted you,” he admits easily. His arms buckle so that his chest his flat to Youngho’s, back curved, ass in the air. “I wasn’t enough.”

Youngho pulls his finger away, trailing his finger up Taeil’s spine. He drags it until it’s by Taeil’s cheek and Taeil turns to suck on it with a moan. He watches Youngho through his lashes, taking that one finger and wetting it with his saliva. Youngho pushes another finger into Taeil’s mouth, moaning quietly when Taeil sucks hard, pushing his tongue between the fingers.

Taeil pulls off with a _pop_ , “Touch me.”

Youngho abides. He reaches down to touch Taeil again, finger wetter now. His left hand spreads Taeil’s ass cheek apart, giving himself space to play with the sensitive skin there.

“In,” Taeil pants, burying his face into the pillow and Youngho’s neck. His hips are lowering, tired from holding himself up, knees spreading to have their crotches meet. He pushes against Youngho’s teasing finger, “ _Mnngh_ , I want it.”

It’s not smooth without lube. Youngho feels every ring of muscle protests when he pushes his pointer finger in, clamping onto him at every inch forward. Taeil shakes, body tightening at the intrusion. His breath comes out in little puffs, chest jumping against Youngho’s. His favorite had always been being stretched out, preferably by Youngho’s dick, but he’d love to take Youngho’s fingers too.

Youngho massages Taeil’s ass and licks at Taeil’s ear, trying to ease the pain and distract him from it as he continues to push his finger in. He twists his finger to touch Taeil’s walls, hot and just so damn _tight_ that even Youngho thinks it might be too much.

“Stop,” Taeil heaves, clawing at Youngho’s shoulder when Youngho tries to pull out. “Don’t.”

“It’s going to hurt,” Youngho mumbles. He tries to pull out again but that only makes Taeil push back against his finger, crying out sharply when he manages to get past Youngho’s second knuckle. Youngho stops him immediately, “Taeil.”

“Don’t,” he mutters, sinking back into Youngho. He nuzzles against Youngho’s cheek, “I can take it.”

“You’re so good,” Youngho kisses him on the ear. He tries to move but it really is too tight. Taeil lets out a long whine when he takes the lobe of Taeil’s ear between his lips, “You’re so good for me, aren’t you?”

“I am,” Taeil clamps down onto Youngho’s finger, shivering when Youngho’s finger stutters at the friction. “Ah, no – ”

“Baby.”

Youngho fights Taeil’s groan when he pushes Taeil down onto his back. He pulls out swiftly, and Taeil bites down on his lip to keep from moaning, glaring at Youngho when the younger boy goes on his knees to dig through their nightstand.

When he returns, Taeil kicks at his side with the flat of his foot, visibly annoyed.

Youngho smiles to himself, watching Taeil shed his façade of trying to get Youngho to enter him with just saliva and words. “You’re sneaky,” he announces, taking Taeil’s ankles and pushing his legs apart.

Taeil rolls his eyes, but opens himself for Youngho anyway. His hand inches down to touch himself, curved hard towards his tummy.

Youngho only manages to get Taeil’s attention when Youngho pops the bottle cap open, ready to lather his fingers in them.

“Wait.”

He does, looking down at Taeil. He’s shy all of a sudden, turning his face away for Youngho to read. Youngho shuts the cap and leaves the lube by the side, heeding Taeil’s request.

They’ve been together for Taeil to still be shy about what he wants, but Youngho thinks they’ve already made tremendous work together. Taeil would never have stopped Youngho in the first two years of their relationship for something else he wanted first.

Youngho noses at Taeil’s ankle, waiting for Taeil to speak again. He an idea, maybe, of what Taeil wanted, refusing lube for now, but he wanted to hear it from himself. Wanted Taeil to ask for it, as easy as it seems. He kisses the bone on Taeil’s ankle, encouraging him.

“Mmngh.” Taeil’s hand leaves his dick, trailing down past towards his balls and just touching his own furl, pink and reddening from how Youngho’d been playing with it. Quietly, “Here.”

Youngho never passes a chance to tease.

He puts Taeil’s leg down to reach for the lube –

“No,” Taeil says again. His cheeks burn red. Youngho grins devilishly, watching Taeil’s expression stay pleading. “First.”

Youngho watches Taeil play with himself, just the tip of his slim finger sliding in himself. He crawls forward to kiss Taeil, to whisper against his lips, “You want me to eat you out?”

Taeil pushes his tongue into Youngho’s mouth, _Yes._

Taeil gets on his elbows and knees and Youngho sits on his haunches, kissing Taeil’s ass. He kisses and licks and bites and sucks, pulling every little sound from Taeil and committing them to memory.

He doesn’t tease Taeil any longer, doesn’t make Taeil wait anymore, knowing Taeil’s limits. He flattens his tongue and presses it to Taeil’s hole, teeth bumping onto his ass when Taeil bucks back, pushing against Youngho’s tongue.

 

It’d been a wild card that Taeil liked to be eaten out. He was skeptical of it at first, shy and nervous about having Youngho licking him so gently. He trembled the first time Youngho’s blowjob taken the step further, tonguing past his balls and going straight for his entrance.

Youngho asked, mouth to Taeil’s ass, warm and wet, “Can I eat you out?”

Taeil hadn’t any idea what that meant back then but he pieced it together after nodding, feeling Youngho’s lick at his hole, tasting it. It’d been the first time Taeil came untouched, writhing against Youngho’s mouth and begging for more.

 

Youngho does the same now, dripping Taeil in his saliva. He pushes the drop of it into Taeil’s ass, tasting Taeil’s walls. He groans, sending vibrations into Taeil, making the older boy shake with pleasure. He thrusts his tongue in as far as he can, spreading Taeil’s ass cheeks with both hands and diving in.

He licks and sucks, teeth scraping the sensitive flesh, making Taeil cry out softly. Youngho pushes his tongue around, makes Taeil squirm and thrash under him. Taeil opens up for him, but he tries to clamp down on Youngho’s tongue, needing more.

Taeil reaches back to tap blindly at Youngho’s cheek, tries to say, _Enough_ , tries to tell Youngho that he wants more now, but Youngho can’t – stop.

He pulls Taeil by the ass, hauling Taeil onto his hands, knees lifting off the sheers for a second, forcing Taeil to scramble to steady himself. It makes Taeil moan at the sheer power. Youngho delves deeper, moaning as every taste of Taeil goes straight to his dick, blood throbbing in his ears. He wants to pull Taeil to ride his mouth, wants Taeil to grind against his face –

“Please,” he hears Taeil beg. His hips jerk forward, and Youngho pulls off to see Taeil leaking messily onto the covers. Taeil looks over his shoulder, cheeks wet with tears to tell Youngho, “I want you now.”

It takes less than a minute to get Taeil back on his back and the first lube covered finger up Taeil’s ass. Youngho wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, watching Taeil take him easy now. Taeil doesn’t wait to whine for the second, and Youngho obliges.

Youngho stretches Taeil out diligently, mouth watering at Taeil’s moans and pleas. He blatantly ignores Taeil’s requests to get it going, knows that Taeil needs more than just two fingers to take Youngho, especially after being apart for so long.

“Please, please, please,” Taeil pants, driving his hands into the pillow under his head. His hips move erratically to trump Youngho’s painfully slow pace. “Please, _please_.”

“One more, okay?” Youngho says throatily.

Taeil moves to complain but he seizes up when Youngho pushes a third finger alongside the other two. Taeil beckons for Youngho, initiating a sloppy kiss when Youngho leans forward, three fingers still in Taeil. He pushes in and out slowly, feeling Taeil’s entrance pulse around his knuckles.

Taeil gets lazy with his kiss. He starts to moan into Youngho’s mouth instead, breathing heavy as he tries to angle himself right.

 

The first time Youngho’d found Taeil’s prostate, the boy had tried to run away. Literally.

Youngho was kneeling on the floor and had Taeil spread on the couch, sucking on Taeil and fingering him. He’d been fingering Taeil all evening, having his own fun pushing Taeil to the edge, only to pull back to draw Taeil close again.

Taeil breathed hard at a particularly soft spot and Youngho tried his best not to freak out. He circled it gently, hearing Taeil’s moans lace with confused huffs. He pushed his pointer finger against it and Taeil kicked away, knee nearly gouging Youngho’s eye out.

“What is – ” Taeil blinked furiously.

“Did it feel good?” Youngho asked instead. He kept his finger skirting the edges of the smooth spot, not wanting Taeil to spook.

“I – ” Taeil swallowed thickly. “I don’t know.”

Youngho stilled, “Do you want me to stop?”

Taeil’s refusal was immediate, “No.”

That night had been the first night Taeil’d cried through his orgasm, body convulsing madly under Youngho’s ministrations. Youngho has had Taeil mapped out in his mind since then, knowing just where Taeil liked to be touched most.

 

“Want you now,” Taeil says, dragging his tongue across Youngho’s cheek, tasting sweat. “Now.”

“Love you,” Youngho says in response, and Taeil lets him go. He slicks himself up and readies himself, watching Taeil.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, lifting his legs to hook them over Youngho’s shoulders. Taeil hadn’t always been able to do that; Youngho testifies that those yoga classes Taeil’d been taking _does_ have some use to them. “Yeah,” Taeil sighs, closing his eyes when Youngho pushes just the head in.

It’s like riding a bicycle, Youngho thinks, and he thinks he’s pretty damn good at it. He makes Taeil moan and huff for more, makes Taeil’s toes curl when he leans forward to bend Taeil back, makes Taeil stick his tongue out to be sucked on as Youngho drives forward. He goes faster after finding momentum, tightening his torso to keep the pace steady, hearing the erotic sounds of him sliding in and out of Taeil.

He wants to watch himself make a mess out of Taeil, wants to admire Taeil come undone, but he knows Taeil likes him close – knows Taeil liked to have Youngho buried into his neck to suck on the skin softly, to have Youngho breathe into his ear and whisper just how good Taeil is for him, to have Youngho’s heart close to his.

Taeil comes first, with little fanfare. His legs topple off Youngho’s shoulders in efforts to hug Youngho close, coming between them with just a string or two. Youngho stops, curling a clean hand through Taeil’s hair, watching fondly as Taeil breathes heavily through his nose. He wipes Taeil’s sweat away, kisses Taeil’s lips softly.

Taeil lets out a long breath, “I want to ride you.”

Youngho manages his reticence, “Baby.”

“Help me up.”

Youngho’s back thanks him profusely when he relaxes onto the bed, feet near their pillows, head near the foot of the bed. Taeil swipes his torso clean, sighing deeply when the angle pushes Youngho deeper in him. He swivels his hips slowly, appreciating the stretch.

Youngho holds his hands up for Taeil to take, steadying him as he begins to bounce. Taeil groans, thighs twitching around Youngho’s hips as he rides Youngho languidly. He takes long strokes, pushing and clenching around Youngho as he lets gravity do the rest, sinking down. He keeps his eyes on Youngho and Youngho tries his best not to look away, not to shut his eyes in complete pleasure.

Taeil rides Youngho until he comes, moaning loudly when Youngho spills in him. He winces from the sensitivity but keeps going, rocking at his own pace and milking Youngho as much as he can. His body is lithe and just so beautiful that Youngho can’t stop staring. He pulls Taeil down for a kiss and Taeil folds easily to let Youngho devour him.

Youngho keeps moving as Taeil slows, lazily fucking into Taeil as he eases from his high.

“I love you,” Taeil moans. He slumps against Youngho, whimpering whenever Youngho edges close to his prostate again. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Youngho says. He wishes he’d lasted longer, but he knows Taeil would want to go again the morning. It’s just been so long since he’s had Taeil in his arms, he didn’t want to let go quite just yet. “Okay?”

“Hmm,” Taeil cuddles close, seemingly satisfied with their current position now. He tightens around Youngho’s softening dick, and his spill starts to leak. Youngho kisses Taeil to get his attention before the boy falls asleep, and Taeil allows it, tangling his fingers into Youngho’s hair. He pulls on Youngho’s hair, starting to get hungry when Youngho licks into his mouth. Taeil sucks on Youngho’s tongue, bobs his head to taste as much as he can.

Youngho feels Taeil’s erection on his navel.

“You taste so good,” Youngho whispers. He massages Taeil’s hole, pushing his finger in alongside his cock. Taeil gasps, then kisses Youngho harder. Youngho starts to moves his hips, just a little. “I love you, Taeil.”

“I – ”

“I love you so much.” He digs his heels into the bed, rocking Taeil against him. “I want to fuck you for hours, Taeil. I want you so bad – you’re so good for me, Taeil, I love you.”

Taeil trembles at the words, latching his lips onto Youngho’s jaw.

“You’re so hot,” Youngho isn’t even thinking anymore. “I missed you so much, I thought of you everyday. I wanted so bad for you to come home.” Taeil moves to kiss Youngho’s ear, hips canting for Youngho’s dick _and_ finger. “I couldn’t sleep without you – I missed you, I missed everything about you.”

“I love you,” Taeil moans into his ear, then kisses it. He mewls, pushing back onto Youngho. “I missed you too.”

“Taeil, I want you.” Youngho feels his chest fill with such _raw_ emotion that it startles him. Taeil doesn’t seem to notice, still moving slow. “I _want_ you, Taeil.”

“You already have me,” Taeil hums. He kisses Youngho gently. Youngho pushes for more, and Taeil abides. His voice is sultry when he speaks, playing with Youngho now, “You want me?”

“Yeah,” Youngho’s brain shrinks at the intoxicating smell of Taeil’s skin. “Yeah, I want you.”

“Tell me how you want me.”

Youngho’s throat dries, “I just want you beside me.”

Taeil smiles sweetly, sheepishly. He kisses Youngho, “You’ll always have me.”

“I just missed you so much,” Youngho admits. He mumbles the rest, “It hurt.”

Taeil softens, “I’m here now, baby.”

“Don’t ever leave,” Youngho says again, for the second time tonight. “I can’t live without you,” he tries to hide away, embarrassment coloring his cheeks, but Taeil doesn’t let him, holding onto his chin. “I – I – ”

Youngho sticks his tongue out for Taeil to take, but he doesn’t. He pulls back instead, hold on Youngho’s hair tightening – _tell me more._

“I think – ” Youngho breathes when Taeil loosens his hold, soothing Youngho with a kiss to the hairline. “I just need you, Taeil. I want you to be mine.”

“I love you, Youngho.” Taeil gives him a quick kiss, “I’m yours.”

They maneuver Taeil back onto his back and Youngho fucks slow. He treasures every push and pull, keeping Taeil trapped under him. Taeil keeps his hands in Youngho’s hair and his lips on Youngho’s, whispering _I love you_ over and over, trying to ingrain it into Youngho. It isn’t as urgent but it’s no less passionate – Youngho feels every plane and curve of Taeil’s body against his and he appreciates every single moment of it.

It takes longer, and Youngho knows Taeil’s overspent when he does comes dry, shedding tears Youngho kisses away. He comes in Taeil again, groaning quietly when his come drips out of Taeil’s full ass.

“I love you,” Taeil mumbles. He winces when Youngho pulls out, clenching when come spills. Youngho presses his index finger to stop it from trickling down Taeil’s thighs. Taeil stares at him, haze cleared in a split second, “No way.”

“I love you,” Youngho laughs. He moves to kiss the frown off Taeil’s face, “I know.”

Taeil runs a hand through his hair, and Youngho smiles when it flops back across his eyes, framing his features perfectly. He pauses mid-comb, “What?”

“Nothing.” Youngho presses his finger a little deeper, “You’re just beautiful, that’s all.”

And maybe Taeil’s feeling it too, whatever Youngho’s feeling. Like his heart’s been empty for so long that the sudden love and fullness he feels is just so incredibly overwhelming. It’s as if it’s the first time they’d lain together – Youngho can’t keep his eyes off Taeil, can’t stop thinking just how much he loves Taeil, can’t stop wondering just how he’s supposed to show it, can’t help but hope that he’ll be able to spend the rest of his life showing Taeil just how much.

Instead of a snarky retort to Youngho’s never-ending supply of loving remarks,

Taeil whispers, “I love you too.”

 

Youngho insists on carrying Taeil into the bathroom after. He cleans Taeil in the shower, lathering Taeil’s hair with shampoo and giving him a good head massage.

“I like your hair,” Youngho says over running water. He has his back to the spray and Taeil’s front  towards him. He pushes away the thought of fucking Taeil against the glass. Taeil wouldn’t say no, but he wouldn’t be able to walk in the morning either.

“You like it long?” Taeil asks. His hands roam across Youngho’s chest, thumbing over Youngho’s nipples faintly.

“I like it short too,” Youngho says. He styles Taeil’s hair into a mohawk, laughing to himself. “I like you.”

Taeil scowls, “Can’t hear you over how you’re making fun of me.”

Youngho smiles and kisses Taeil, heart bursting out of his chest. He continues to clean Taeil up, soaking Taeil’s hair in conditioner and leaving it in when he reaches between Taeil’s ass cheeks. Taeil clings onto him as he cleans Taeil out swiftly. It isn’t pleasant, but Youngho’s done this enough to make sure Taeil’s feeling as little pain as possible.

“I would’ve eaten you out again, y’know,” Youngho says casually. “I wanted to.”

Taeil mumbles, “Why didn’t you?”

Youngho can’t believe how cute Taeil can sound about things like these. “It would’ve been too much.”

“I would’ve want you to.”

Youngho pats Taeil’s butt twice, “I know you love it when I do, baby.”

Taeil doesn’t deny it, pushing Youngho to take a step back so that he can stand under the spray of hot water.

“Let’s get you to bed,” Youngho says, after toweling Taeil dry. He lets Taeil change into briefs he while rushes to strip just the bed of their stained sheets. When he gets back from shoving them into the washer, he finds Taeil already laying out a new fitted sheet.

“Are we not changing the comforter cover?” Taeil asks, tucking the corners in.

Youngho grins, “Not if I’m going to make a mess of you tomorrow morning.”

Taeil hops into bed, locking eyes with Youngho as he fumbles under their blanket. He brandishes his briefs and tosses it over the bed, “I won’t be needing this then?”

Youngho shakes his head, cheeks hurting from all the smiling he’s been doing. He closes the light and joins Taeil in bed, sighing in relief when Taeil presses his warm body to his. The last three weeks had been spent sleeping in cold sheets and Youngho is just genuinely happy to have Taeil back in his arms.

“I love you,” Youngho mumbles into Taeil’s hair. He wishes the words to never lose their meaning. “I love you a lot, Taeil.”

“Love you more.” He curls into Youngho, “A lot more.”

Youngho hopes Taeil doesn’t run when says, “I want to love you forever.” He goes on, heart pounding, “I mean when I say I love you, and I mean it when I say I never spend a day without you ever again.”

Taeil does nothing of the sort. He hugs Youngho tightly, “Me too.”

Youngho’s heart stops. “Really?”

Taeil nods, “Let’s talk about it in the morning?”

“I’ll add it to our agenda then.”

Taeil laughs airily, “Love you.”

“Love you too, baby.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(The afternoon is spent looking at rings.)

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i love johnil being in love. see you in the trash bin!
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/jenhyungs)


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